WARNING: These pages are M-rated (Maximum naughtiness,
Minimum sleaze). And if you are wondering what the purpose of
this section is - it has no purpose, like life itself! But I hope you enjoy it.


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	WE'RE ALL DOOMED! We're all doomed! Ask Hollywood; they'll tell you! So also will assorted doomsayers belonging to a myriad cults. Well, doomsaying sure sells. The latest blockbuster doomfest movie - 2012 -  seems to be outstripping most of its predecessors. Must have picked the right moment to bring it on! Lots of people predicting the End of the World. And the year 2012? Well, they say the Mayans' calendar came to an end with this date. 21st December, some say, others put it at 23rd. Clearly if the Mayan calendar comes to an end that means the End of all things. Why a Mayan calendar should have anything to do with the End is not explained. But then Mayans are a part of that rich tapestry of mystical shadowlands that entice otherwise rational people to lose all rationality (and join a high-priced cult). Go spend on the movie, by all means, but don't join a cult!
	GATE-CRASHING THE WHITE HOUSE. What a lark - and a harmless one that hurt nobody, in my view (although it did show up lax security). Self-appointed socialites Tareq and Michaele Salahi very cleverly gate-crashed the party staged by President and Mrs Obama to honour the Indian PM and his wife. Reminded me of an old friend, let's call him Benny (that  isn't his real name). Benny was adept at cons, generally harmless ones too. The biggest con was to talk his way into a management position in a public company. Got himself a nice office and a good salary and managed to hold down the job for quite some weeks until his obvious lack of real knowledge started becoming, one might say - embarrassing. Benny gracefully retired. Love to be as bold as the Salahis and Benny but, alas, I'm too timid and can only enjoy their exploits from a distance and cheer them on.
	THE BEAUTIFUL PARIS REVEALS HERSELF - ALMOST In perambulating through the world of secondhand books I recently came across this beautiful book. Beautiful because it is centred on a very beautiful young woman - Paris Hilton. Oh yes, I can hear some howls of protest, 'little rich girl' and 'no talent' and all that stuff.  Well, I don't easily fall for blonde bombshells, in fact my preference is very much for raven-haired females - like Winona Ryder (yes, I know, she dyes her hair). But I have an immense admiration for Paris. Paris is no bimbo whatever some people think. She's one smart chick (and I use that politically-incorrect term affectionately). At age 18 she left the very rich Hilton family nest and started to make her own way in the world. With great aplomb and with great success. Paris is multi-talented. She's starred on TV, acted in films, compered shows, produced books, run a line of fashion, and much more. So - go Paris! That's what I say. And more power to you. There is just one thing I missed in this book. There are hundreds of colour photos of Paris but just one in bare feet - and that photo is small. Surely we could have had a few more? Foot fetishists like me need their fix, Paris! (But she was barefoot in one of her movie appearances - more of that below.)
	PARIS BAREFOOT IN HOUSE OF WAX MOVIE. A shot of Paris's bare feet as she runs through an old warehouse in the horror flick, House of Wax (2005).  Paris (playing Paige) is on the run from a maniac who just after this scene manages to slice up through the metal grate and into poor Paris's foot.  She makes her final exit from the story soon after this interlude. I loved reading something Paris said. The movie was shot in Queensland, Australia (where I now live). She commented in wonderment: 'I'm actually running through a forest in bare feet.' Which she was, pursed by the maniac. Not a bad effort for an heir to a fortune and a sophisticated member of US society. Hats off to you, Paris! In passing I was also enthralled by Naomi Watts who was barefoot through the whole time in the Great Ape's forest in King Kong (2005), running through the bushes, up and down rocks. Tough girl!
	VATICAN WORRIED: CHURCHES BECOME STRIP CLUBS. Shock, horror! A church building sold off in Hungary has been turned into a strip club. And the Vatican is not happy. (Bit inconvenient having to travel from Rome, you know.) A gentleman described as the Vatican's Culture Commissar, Archbishop Giuanfranco Ravasi, says it was all very disturbing and he warned Italian bishops not to be tempted to do likewise. Reminds me of a report from the year 1500 or thereabouts when it was said Cesare Borgia and his sister Lucrezia pleased their father, Pope Alexander, with 'lascivious dancing.' I guess their passions had been stirred by attendance at the bullfights, which Lucrezia adored. I fancy old Pope Alexander would have enjoyed whiling away some time in a strip club. He was known for entertaining very young girls in his apartments where clothing was, well, let's say 'optional'.
	IF MUSIC BE THE FOOD OF LOVE - PLAY ON! A change of pace - from a beautiful nude female to another beautiful young woman - playing (we assume) beautiful music on a mandolin. Now I might prefer her to be playing without clothes but that purple garment is certainly very attractive. The image comes from an old French postcard, produced somewhere around the 1930s. The French (generally pretty classy people) turned out some beautiful cards and, fortunately, many have been preserved through the years. While a proportion of these cards were mass-produced with regular printing machines, a select number were actually made by photographic processing. Those were the days before digital - of light-sensitive coatings and chemical baths. Of course, they had ways of speeding up the processing of so many cards.  They needed to do so as the postcard industry turned out - and sold - huge numbers of cards in its heyday (from about 1900 to 1940). And many of the 'real photo' postcards (as they are referred to) were hand-coloured, as was this one. Which means, I guess, the girl could well have been turned into an Irish colleen with a bright green dress! I used to do my own photo processing. Can't say I miss the chemicals, the fumes and the mess. Not to mention slaving away in a cramped darkroom for hours.
	NUDITY HORRIFIES OFFICIALDOM. In mid-2009 the liquor agency of the state of Alabama (USA) banned the sale of Cycles Gladiator wine which features the image of a nude 'nymph' on the label. The label draws its design from a vintage 1895 bicycle advertising poster. The agency said regulations prohibit labels that are 'offensive or immodest' and told restaurants and bars not to sell the product. However, the wine had previously been sold across the nation with this same label. Once again we come across weird people who are terrified of the human body. I'll never understand it. What more beautiful image could you find than this delightful nymph with her flowing lines - and flowing hair! And barefoot as well, an added bonus.
	THERE IS ONE SPORT THAT APPEALS. Sport is not my thing. I can never get excited about people kicking a ball around a field (whatever the code). Nor, for that matter, hitting a ball back and forth with a cricket bat or tennis racquet. But there is one sport I do like, but for less than 'respectable' reasons - gymnastics - at least gymnastic involving barefoot girls. What great satisfaction for the foot fetishist when sweet little girls do their thing in leotards and bare feet. Now and then someone spoils things with an untidy bandage or, horror of horrors, actually wearing socks, but mostly bare feet prevail in this quite delightful activity. Reading comments on websites devoted to gymnastics one gets the impression bare feet are generally preferred for a number of reasons, including better feel of the bars, etc.
	A BIRD'S EYE VIEW FROM THE PULPIT. There was something that really appealed to me in this Punch cartoon of 1857. Now I know there are some very powerful - and persuasive - preachers who occupy pulpits but there are also many dullards who drone on - much as this chook was probably doing. One presumes he is a rooster. The church pews seem to be filled with attentive hens. Church pews are often largely filled with females these days. And, of course, now and then a female occupies the pulpit, at least in those churches that are not so hide-bound as to refuse to share the ministry with the other half of mankind. How many hundreds of times have I sat in pews - and listened, often, to a dullard preacher. Fortunately I have long since discarded such foolish ways. No need to turn out of bed on Sundays and join my fellow-believers for the weekly charge of the security blanket.
	WEIRD AND WONDERFUL. Hiding behind this strange apparition is the face of a young girl. She is sitting in the cab of a fire engine, which was on display at a school fete. Now in some ways I'd prefer the girl in her more normal mode but I couldn't resist capturing this odd effect.  She and some of the other children had much fun pretending to drive the engine. The photo was taken in 1990 at St Catherine's School, Waverley, NSW.
	THE PREACHER IS ANXIOUS TO GET TO HEAVEN? A ladder up to heaven? I guess some people are most anxious to get there. And the way some folk speak about heaven you'd think it actually was 'up there' - somewhere. Now I must be honest and point out that I am an atheist so it was with delight that I found this quote from the redoubtable George Bernard Shaw: 'Heaven, as conventionally conceived, is a place so inane, so dull, so useless. so miserable, that nobody has ever ventured to describe a day in heaven, although plenty of people had described a day at the seaside.' Lisa Wilkinson, onetime editor of Australia's Dolly magazine, asked by the Sydney Morning Herald's Good Weekend to comment on heaven, replied: 'Pity the poor fool who attempts to describe Paradise. After all, it's a place that the religions tell us is beyond the scope of our imagination; a secret club for which the various denominations prescribe certain rules of entry. Once you're in, you dwell forever in a semi-concussed state of bliss, confident that your membership card won't be taken away from you.'
	THE JOY OF CHILDREN PLAYING. One of my favourite photos, taken in 1990. I was walking through a swimming pool area when I noticed these three girls romping together. I had to act rapidly to catch the motion and while the shot is not perfect  I was very glad I hadn't hesitated.  It has always been one of my favourite photos. Over years of taking photos (thousands) one of the lessons I have learnt - shoot first then worry about what it looks like later. A moment's hesitation is all it needs to miss a great shot. You can always follow up with more shots taken at leisure and, who knows, you may have some better frames by the time you are finished, but sometimes none of these ever comes up to that very first rapid-fire 'grab'.
	ONE WAY TO USE UP OLD TYRES. I took this photo many years ago, in the days when I used black-and-white film. Not sure of the date but probably around 1960. Sinden Tyre & Rubber Company was located at the top of the hill on the way down Sydney Road into the Manly (NSW) township. (I grew up in the beachside suburb of Manly but, curiously, didn't learn to swim until I was aged about 17 - especially curious as both my parents were good swimmers and my father was a lifesaver!  Don't ask; I don't have any sensible explanation.) I don't know how long the man and his stack of tyres lasted. I did read somewhere that they changed his clothes from time to time but that must have been a difficult task! Eventually I moved away from Manly and years later discovered this landmark was missing.
	ENTHUSIASTIC CROWD OF CHILDREN. Taken at Roselands, NSW, as an enthusiastic crowd of schoolboys and schoolgirls were cheering on competitors in swimming races.  Date uncertain but probably around 1990. Nice to see the kids having a lot of fun and reacting in good-natured ways to the winners and losers. Such events provide great opportunities for photographers to catch animated crowd scenes.
	SHE'S STARTING YOUNG. A photo taken by me somewhere around the year 1960, when I was working for a Sydney studio, rushing from house to house taking 'child studies'.  I was using a Rollieflex square-format camera at the time. While it was a lot of fun working with young children it was exhausting work as the studio was forever booking too many sittings and at times even double-booking them.  This resulted in the poor photographer having to dash through Sydney's hectic traffic, racing from suburb to suburb. One benefit, though: I became very relaxed and confident driving in traffic!
	COLOURFUL REAR VIEW. These two girls were waiting to participate in a display and I thought this view of their backs with their colourful costumes was worth catching. Besides, girls' back are very nice. Not perhaps quite as nice as some other parts of their anatomy but - nice enough! True, I am very keen on a nice pair of female feet and - apart from my foot fetish aberration - being a normal male I like girls' breasts too. In fact, it is hard not like women all over! (I'm not gay, although I am always tolerant of, sympathetic towards and supportive of, gays, both male and female.)
	BAREFOOT GIRLS SUNBAKING ON BEACH. Just to demonstrate that I haven't overlooked my favourite female body part, I introduce this photo I grabbed at Newcastle, NSW. I confess to sneaking many such shots.  Sometimes the subject didn't know, at other times she did and didn't mind anyway. The whole subject of the rights and wrong of photographing people in public places is one with various aspects (and is treated, among other topics, in a book I produced, The Law and the Camera) but generally there is no harm provided the photo doesn't demean or defame the person.
	SKINNYDIPPING IN AUSTRALIA. Photo I found in an old book. No idea who they were nor where it was taken but probably somewhere around Sydney, Australia. It was most likely taken in the 1930s. The quality is not great but it is an interesting glimpse of life being lived in a commendably relaxed way!
	LOTS OF FUN ON AN INFLATABLE RIDE. Taken at a multicultural festival held at St Therese Primary School, Lambton, NSW. Jumping castles and rides like this are a great source of photo opportunities but you have to be quick to catch the action!  And the lighting is not always co-operative, especially when the bright sky is directly behind the children as in this shot.
	NEW GUINEA WOMAN BREASTFEEDING A PIGLET. A scene from Papua-New Guinea, showing a native woman breast-feeding a piglet. It is a not uncommon scene in this area and in some other native cultures. But less common in the USA! Tori Amos upset many fans when she appeared in a photograph on the album sleeve for her record Boys for Pele. There was Tori breastfeeding a piglet like a New Guinea woman. Tori is one of a growing number of celebrity mums advocating breastfeeding - of human babies as well as piglets!
	JAPANESE LADIES FAKE BEACH OUTING. A scene staged in a studio to produce a postcard. Date unknown but probably around mid-1930s during the postcard craze. Many of the postcards produced between about 1910 and 1940 were photographed in studios rather than in actual settings. Beach scenes were very popular but most, although not all, were staged like this one.  I guess the photographers found it easier to control the lighting than struggle with the strong light and shade of sunlight. Not to mention the wind, rain and other hindrances.

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